yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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