Cold hands, warm shart.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
The adults are the big ones right?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
