Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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