I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
