? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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