I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
