I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
