those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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