thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Randomize
