I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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