ya dads aren't the best wingmen
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
