so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
