Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
now i know why i became what i already was.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Randomize
