I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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