Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Boobs speak an international language.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
