We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Randomize
