well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
