I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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