Pregnant stripper...not hot.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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