I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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