So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
