So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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