We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
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