Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
