Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
