If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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