she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
As shirtless as possible
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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