When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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