Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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