i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
