Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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