he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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