yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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