Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
