This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
