I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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