he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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