Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
