I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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