He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
