When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
