On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
