even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
