No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
she looked like the before picture.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
