so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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