Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Randomize
