the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
