I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
