I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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