I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
