just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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