who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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