And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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