hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
