You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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