I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
